Everyone has flaws, even the guys and gals who seem to live such perfect lives on social media gazing at their perfect homes, high-end clothing, and youthful good looks may make you feel as if you fall short. However, things aren’t always as they seem. Those beautiful bodies and faces who seem to have it all may be the product of camera filters and more of an illusion than a reality.
Even if they are legit, it shouldn’t bring you down. Slapping a “flaw” label on your life is not only detrimental to your self-esteem – it’s inaccurate too. Why does being imperfect always feel so imperfect? Can you learn to embrace or even love your flaws? The truth is, you can, but it means changing your perspective.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
First, know that everyone is different. You are special just as you are. No one is perfect, and the world is too harsh for everyone to live up to reach an arbitrary standard of perfection; it’s unrealistic! Your flaws are your strengths in disguise. Once you understand and acknowledge that, you’re halfway there. With a dose of self-acceptance, you can embrace your flaws and even be grateful for them.
Change the way you look at things you don’t like about yourself. Flaws and struggles build character. People born with perfect looks and unlimited amounts of money are often lazy because they were handed a silver spoon and never had to work for anything. Your flaws shaped you into becoming a better person!
Let Go of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is the enemy of happiness. If you strive to reach some standard of perfectionism, you’ll be in a state of perpetual frustration. The writer Ann Lamont says it perfectly in her quote:
”Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.” – Anne Lamott
It’s also an illusion since there is no perfection in the realm of human beings. A straight line or a sphere may be perfect because they’re a construct, not a living, breathing entity that is constantly changing.
Let go of the idea of perfect. If you chase perfection, you allow other people to determine your worth. The outside world and media promote the concept of perfection through digitally enhanced ads and movie and television characters who seem to live ideal lives. Realize this is fantasy and stop comparing yourself to it. Don’t buy into it.
See Your Flaws as Art
The most beautiful paintings and works of art are rarely perfect but are moving because they convey emotion. In fact, something that’s perfectly symmetrical is often boring and you quickly look away to find something more interesting to gaze at, something that moves your soul. The same is true of humans and human nature. Without flaws, you would be monolithic, monotonous, and boring. Learn to admire the fact that you’re unique and that makes you special.
Every Time You Focus on a Flaw, Balance It with an Asset
Why is it people scrutinize their flaws and ignore the positive things about themselves? Drop that habit. When you discover something you don’t like about yourself, think about the things people admire about you and the positive aspects of your life. Turn the belief that you’re flawed and the negativity it creates around by focusing on a positive. Do it consistently and you’ll be a happier person.
Reframe Your Flaws
Maybe you’ve had a run of bad luck but the things in your life that have caused your bad luck are the same things from which you learn and grow. When you chase perfection, you overlook these opportunities to learn and grow in favor of dwelling on your flaws – which is what makes them so horrible.
Instead, focus on what’s going right in your life and remember that everything happens for a reason. For example, when you’re struggling with debt, you can reframe it to say it will teach you how to manage money better. When you break up with someone because they didn’t treat you the way you wanted them to, congratulate yourself on making a decision that brings you happiness.
If you have a disease like cancer or a disability, use that circumstance as an opportunity to show people your strength and courage. Know that every person has flaws, but that’s what makes you unique and special. There are many advantages to this as well – it means you don’t have to be perfect and can learn from your mistakes. No one is perfect, so embrace your imperfections with pride!
- “What is Self-Acceptance? 25 Exercises + Definition and Quotes.”
- WebMD.com. “Accept Your Flaws”
- “Accepting Your Flaws and Mistakes | HealthGuidance.org.” 29 Apr. 2012,